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foxalpha:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

upallnightogetloki:

pimpunderthemountain:

cockleshells:

Okay so imagine the villain has captured a girl the protagonist cares about and is all like “I’ll kill her unless you give me the macguffin!”

And the hero’s like “that will never happen! I love her and she loves me! Right?”

And the girl’s like “um…this isn’t the best time.”

And the protagonist screams she’s a friendzoning whore and abandons her.

And the villain’s like “fuck that guy” and teaches her how to walk in thigh-high leather boots.

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 bawse

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